Chota Chetan

Just flipped through Chetan Bhagat’s – Three Mistakes of My Life yesterday. And I think it was strictly okay. Not that I am a book critic by any stretch of imagination, but it felt surreal after an extent. On a brief comparison of his commercial success and my broken attempts at blogging consistently, I found a lot of similarities:

1. Both of us are highly over-rated. (A facebook status msg was the Eureka moment for this one )

Five Point Someone was pretty sleek and I think the writer put in a lot of thought as he wanted to capture the imagination of the youth on his very first attempt. He struck a chord and the book was a deserved bestseller. But the next two books from the CB stable have really flattered to deceive. I was warned not to bother with ONACC and I happened to read ‘The 3 mistakes’ in the euphoria of me possibly clearing ED at first go. The author loses the plot in the middle and his ‘vivid’ imagination is lets say a bit hard to take for realists like me.

To juxtapose it on my blogging journey, my initial posts were all well thought, well edited and proofread. As time dragged on, I had a few ‘dedictaed readers’. The thing with dedicated readers is that they will come back time and again even if you write shite. The first few posts were discussed among peers and I dare say were a marginal success. As time dragged on, I started with posts and cut them half way. I abruptly ended some posts as I wasn’t able to go on further; rather to be blunt; I did not have the drive to carry on. The result was some hastily-written haphazard work which was a shadow of what I initially intended when I sat down to write. I never research my posts. I just sit and write whatever I think of. I need to work on that aspect a bit.

I think both of us were lured into thinking that the faithful audience will accept any crap thats published and perhaps that led to the declining standards.

2. We thrive on the lack of competition

There haven’t really been any books in the market which cater to the same audience as Bhagat’s. ‘Above Average’ is one that comes to mind. Well, if we may get a few more Chetan Bhagats who are eager to make their first opportunity count, we could see an ouster – Ganguly and Dravid style.

I have always believe that I am a mediocre writer. I have no flair for words. If you have read the blog extensively, you will find a lot of oft repeated words and phrases which are lifted shamelessly from ESPN Star’s football commentary. But then I am one of the few who blog atleast once-twice a month. I sincerely believe that if other junta starts blogging, they could make for a much more interesting read. But then people find it hard to start blogging. Long waits with no hits, no comments – I have gone through all that. If people shed inhibitions, work their asses off for some months at a stretch and crunch some keys, I will soon be out of vogue.

3. What readers want

Every CB book has to have a larger than life sexcapade. Some teenager is screwed by a not-so-confident guy right under the noses of her family. We, Indians, very well know that we would never end up doing such a thing. So it perhaps is exciting to read about ‘what-does-happen-when-these-incidents-occur.’ Although it makes for some over-the-top fiction, it has to be included to meet the readers’ ‘true connect’.

An analogy towards my posts would be the fleeting references of Jenna Jameson, Lindsay Lohan, porno (although I do try to tone it down as much as possible). You have to connect with the reader. Include things which you perhaps would have not included otherwise. I know that if I write an essay on the world of football finances, I would not receive hits. I mean, who the fvck cares about football finances and the economy of the sport et al. Hence , I avoid the ‘over-sporty’ topics as much as possible. Consumer is king. Else how would you explain a sterling marketer like ITC make such dumbfvck ads for their brand of potato chips – BINGO.

4. Our PR people earn their corn

I think its no coincidence that Vidya become a PR exec at the end of the third book. It must be a tribute to his PR guys. Before every book is launched, the book is marketed extensively. Its in the papers. Page 3 celebrities endorse it as a ‘must-read’- which does not speak too highly of their reading tastes. And every reader knows of his IIT-IIMA-Deutsche Bank-Singapore journey which is academically impeccable ofcourse. Every second child who passes out of school wants a IIT-IIM combo pack. And when he realises that such combo pack achievers also write books, he is compelled into reading them and marks them as the finest piece of literature ever. These IITs/IIMs  do brand you for life !

Well, as far as my PR goes. My PR people have already taking entries for my fan club. A nominal fee has to be paid every year which will go straight into my Orange Juice fund.

Ergo, I realize that Bhagat’s next book is very vital for me as it will shape how my blog proceeds from here. Also, I need to stop for an exam lurks menacingly near and time has come for my arse to slowly catch fire.

A careful observation into this post – and you will find a distinct fall in quality in the second half. I just cant sit at one place and gather my thoughts over a period of 90 mins. Patience and tenacity are two qualities that I yearn for ! Sigh !

Related posts:

1. Ungratefulness
2. Ten facts you might not know about me.

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