People.

Those who know me know that I don’t talk too much. Or too often. I’m very unobtrusive. Reticent in a way. Many mistake this reticence or quietness for arrogance or high-headedness. But it is far from the truth. Arrogance doesn’t come to me for some reason. And I’m happy for it. But I often end up being very quiet in a large gathering of people. I’m intimidated by people. Or rather their stupidity. Or rather my stupidity. Or our lack of coherence. I don’t take to people too easily. It has been always been that way. Relatives are a strict no-no for me. For we never ever manage to converse in a freely flowing manner. I bluntly refuse to accompany my parents to any relative or acquaintance. And poor parents have to feign reasons like “uska exam tha” “he’s not well” and the kind.

I always knew that I couldn’t do people (do as in the ‘do booze’ wala thingy). But in the initial stages, I did not have the time or maturity to think about it. Academics, sports, books and movies occupied most of the time. People took a backseat. Yet at every step, I felt that I was missing out on people. Their infinite talents, the colours, the flavours, the jokes, the laughter et al. For the next few years, I made a conscious attempt to get into people. Do people. Indulge. And I do think I have failed rather royally.

The main reason behind this failure is that I expect everyone to embody the qualities attributes that I possess. More often than not, I’m disagreeing with what you’re saying. The two people with whom I can go on talking for ages together are my grandparents. Because its like we share the same attributes. Rather I have imbibed theirs. I search for brutal honesty in people. Sincerity. And its rather very difficult to find. Sometimes I wonder what if I found a completely new set of relatives, acquaintances and friends. Each of whom :

1. Is sensible, level-headed and responsible.

2. Is not pretentious. I hate pretence. Despise it. Abhor it. If there’s one think I can’t stand, its pretence. You can be loud, obnoxious, grotesque and I’ll love you for all you know. But pretence is difficult to handle. It is the root of ALL other evils. The need, the urge to assert your importance. The want of trying to be something you aren’t.

3. Does not use the words “gay” and “bitch”.

4. Does not have massive relationship problems. Please be sure if your long term ambition is to get married to a guy, girl or a goat. Please do not make and break up as many as seven times a week. Please do not talk in Chinese whispers. Please do not create factions. Please do not think of yourself as a superior clan. And above all , please do not wash your dirty linen in public. Please realise that no one cares for you. That the world does not revolve around you. That you are not too important to be talked about. Everyone mates. Moths, earthworms, wasps, dogs, dolphins and lions. Its a very prosaic thing.

5. Is not a prima donna. You can have the world for yourselves when you’re in your own little room. But in a group of equals, please do not let your stupidity outshine you. Please do follow certain protocols with regards to time and behaviour.

6. Does not consider consuming alcohol behind their parents’ back as a stupendous achievement. Alcohol is strictly a personal choice. Only the person has to decide whether he wants to consume alcohol or not. One who does alcohol should respect the other person’s decision of not wanting to consume alcohol and vice versa. Boozing doesn’t make you cool or refusing to booze isn’t really saintly. Everyone has a right to choose what the want. But it remains a right. That is about it. It isn’t a privilege or an achievement. It isn’t really something which needs to be deliberated upon endlesslesly or celebrated vociferously. Its mundane. Drink responsibly. Enjoy. And then keep it low key.

7. Is not an attention hogging bastard. All of us crave to be famous. To be renowned. But there’s no need to stick out like a sore thumb.

8. Is not overtly proud of his region. India is a diverse country. It is rich in regard to culture. And every region has its own unique flavour which can’t be undermined. But camping and grouping solely on the basis of one’s mother tongue or region is imbecile. The entire Tamil Nadu-Karnataka-Maharashtra-North India divide makes me lose my rag. It totally belies the basic ethic of national unity.

9. Does not have a bloated ego. Shed your ego. Its better that way.

10. Is nice

I often wonder, what are people skills ? Do I have any people skills ? People skills is a very corporate term per se. If people skills are those skills which involve working together as a team and reaching a particular goal, then perhaps I do have people skills in abundance. Because people who have worked with me will testify that I’m a very good team player. But then what are those skills which help you “do people” on a daily routine basis ? Some questions need to be left unanswered.

I circumspect. Do I have any goals or burning desires ? None really. Apart from taming a certain domestic animal. That too is not a burning desire. Just a nice little dream. A pipe dream.  Do any goals or desires invovlve people ? No. Its time I guess where I stopped doing people completely. I’ve tried doing people. I’ve failed. I need to rehabilitate. Cleanse the system. And concentrate towards the more abstract targets. Somewhere down the line – I know I would regret not doing people. For, after a point of time, only people matter. Nothing else. But is it worth it ? Perhaps not.

PS: Don’t read too much into the timing of the post. I had planned this way before but then exams and I.V. ensured that I couldn’t find enough time. And its not aimed at the ‘cheeks’. They know it anyways. But making it double sure

It seems that he's written something new. Aha ! :P

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